Tears of Salt

/

I need this.
More
than
anything.
More
than
you.
Do
not
be angry.
I take
my shoes
off and walk
to where
I know
I can
fill my soul.
I can
not explain
it.
As I walk
the
sand
washes
away
all the
wrongs.
The bad
decisions.
The things
I wish
I could
change.
I feel
the tears
stream down
my face.
Because
this is not
what I want.
Or how
I want it.
I get
closer
to my temple,
my church
my forgiver.
This place
can heal
and I am
ready.
I see the
ocean
and I walk out
on the sandbar.
The ocean
breeze
floats
down
my throat
and takes
all those mistakes
and regrets
away.
I walk into
the water
and let
the salt water
do what it
should do,
Fix,
Heal.
This is
the most
honest
place I know.
I swim
until
my arms feel
like heavy weights.
I walk
out of
the ocean.
Knowing,
I can be better.
As I walk through
the sand,
I see you
waiting
for me.
The salt
water
from my tears
is mixing
with the
ocean salt
water.
Under my
breath
I whisper
your name.
You are my
safe place
and I love
your honest
eyes.
You understand
my tears of
salt.

_____
Paper Trail:

Off Season: Cape May, New Jersey

Photographed during the month of February in 2014, the image above was captured during photo sessions for a book entitled, Off Season: Cape May, New Jersey.

This book will showcase high contrast black-and-white images from Cape May during the height of winter in the resort’s off season. Stark, barren, and empty are words and emotions I hope the final images convey. 

It is a labor of love and will be available June 2016. Stay tuned!!

The Beach Is Her Sanctuary

/

The beach is her sanctuary. The sand under her feet is her foundation. The waves lapping at the shore are her symphony. In good weather or bad, her soul is always at peace by the ocean. 

It’s winter and morning. The air is cold and biting. The sky is overcast and threatening snow. It doesn’t matter. The beach is deserted and exists only for her.

She looks at the water and the waves softly breaking. She looks at the snow covered jetty and the coastline beyond. She breathes the salt air and listens to the gulls overhead.

One step after another, she walks the beach leaving footprints in the sand. What once was smooth and touched only by the sea, now bears witness to her passing. Tracks along the shore. Memories for her mind.

She isn’t alone. She’s here with her lover. He quietly watches her as she walks in her solitude. No longing. No jealousy or envy. No expectations. He observes her in the moment, delighted and grateful to know his love is at peace.

She feels his gaze as she walks. It makes her smile. She knows this place is special to him. Sharing it, she feels his love. He is part of her and always will be. She wonders if he knows? 

Stopping, she looks back to find him. She was right. He is there and watching. She feels him in her heart. Lost in the moment, the world slips away and serenity finds her. Her soul is calm and quiet. She’s at peace and happy.

His Old Friend

/

The shirt is an old friend. It is made from a soft cotton ticking cloth with wide blue and white stripes. It is well worn, oversized, and comfy, like a blanket is warm and inviting on a chilled night.

The shirt is his favorite. It is a cherished garment that has been lovingly tended and preserved for years. It is the first shirt he wears after doing wash. It is the only shirt he enjoys wearing no matter the season or the setting. 

Now his old friend is laying in his lap. It is freshly unwrapped from the package that arrived in the mail. Flat and pressed, the shirt is lifeless and somehow less than what it once was. He looks at it with tears in his eyes. 

It has been awhile since he has seen his shirt and old friend. The reunion is unexpected and comes as a shock. Emptiness fills him. Loss and sadness flood through him. Waves of emotion begin to consume him, claiming him and stealing his soul.

He knows only despair and isolation in this moment. No longer in control, the tears that welled up in his eyes begin to fall. They run down his face and land on the shirt in his lap. He sits quietly and trembles as his tears pool on his old friend. 

The shirt should not be here. His old friend should not be tear stained and laying in his lap. He gifted it to his love, the woman that is his everything and his forever. He gave her the shirt as he gave her himself. 

He remembers her joy and excitement when he handed her the shirt. He remembers the love in her eyes and the smile on her face as she wore it for the first time. His old friend was now her new friend. It was a symbol of their bond and life together. 

As she slowly ran her hands over it, the shirt immediately enveloped her in his love and devotion. It carried his scent and, now, blended with hers. His old friend embraced her and became her warm blanket on a chilled night. It became her shirt for all seasons.

He last saw his old friend on his love. She wore it for him lose and open. She treasured being in it and near him. She cherished being embraced by both, loved and protected in their touch. 

The shirt is now laying lifeless in his lap, tear stained and wet. His old friend returned to him without warning or word. The love of his life, his everything and forever, silent and lost to him.

A Thousand Kisses Deep

/

It was a late April evening back in 2013, I ventured online to listen to a close friend DJ’ing a live stream. My friend’s name is Irish and, when I tuned her in, she was playing a song from a musician I was not familiar with. The artist’s name was Leonard Cohen and the song was, A Thousand Kisses Deep.

As I sat and listened to Leonard’s aged voice sing the haunting lyrics of his song, I began thinking about recent events in life. Speaking about opportunities and people in one’s life that cannot change as well as accepting paths never envisioned, this song affected me in ways that are difficult express.

Endings… Things that will never be… Journeys not to be taken… People left behind… Futures never realized…

And quiet is the thought of you,
The file on you complete,
Except what we forgot to do,
A Thousand Kisses Deep.
-----
And sometimes when the night is slow,
The wretched and the meek,
We gather up our hearts and go,
A Thousand Kisses Deep,

Wow… These words gave me such pause and, yet, sent chills through me. 

That year, 2013, produced so much joy for me. I had made real efforts to change my life and karma, personally and professionally. Good things were happening. And then, my life took control away… A Thousand Kisses Deep.

That is what I felt and feel when I listen to Leonard’s song. As sad as that seems, though… A Thousand Kisses Deep also reminds me that when one door closes another opens. Closure always breeds new opportunities and fresh beginnings. It is this ebb and flow of closure and opportunity that defines us and our lives. It is the balance of all that has taken place, rather than any single episode or period, that matters.

So, remember fondly those people and the paths that were and could have been. It is okay to do so. With that in mind… Embrace your present and look to your future, knowing it is filled with opportunity and fresh beginnings.

Or, in the words of Leonard Cohen…

I’m turning tricks,
I’m getting fixed,
I’m back on Boogie Street.

_____
Paper Trail:

LifeTracks

/

Music, at its essence, is what gives us memories. And the longer a song has existed in our lives, the more memories we have of it.
- Stevie Wonder

A crowded boardwalk on a hot and steamy summer’s day along the Jersey shore. The cool breeze in the soft morning light that is daybreak in the Rocky Mountains. The gentle, rolling waves ebbing and flowing over the tidal pools of the Central California coastline. Friends jammed in a crowded car cruising around town on a Friday night after the drive-in. A dense and thick fog slowly rolling in over the tundra on the edge of the Hudson Bay in Northern Manitoba. The endless horizon of Route 70 in Kansas on marathon 52 hour drive from Maryland to Colorado. Drinking coffee on a lazy Sunday morning watching a hot air ballon ascent in the high desert of the Southwest. 

These are all moments that define my life. Some were experienced alone, while others with friends, or lovers, or family. They are snapshots in time, complete with their own images and emotions. Running through all these experiences is a musical score, the soundtrack of the music in the moment. My LifeTracks…

We all have LifeTracks. Music that runs through our lives like a thread weaves through a tapestry. Music that when played or heard instantly recalls places, and people, and emotions. That is the power and creativity of music. It is one of the greatest gifts given to us as humans.

Welcome to LifeTracks, a new and ongoing, series on KerrSplat!! LifeTracks will showcase and explore the music in my life within the context of the experiences and moments that defined my life. As such, LifeTracks is a journey of self-exploration. I am looking forward to that journey. 

I am also opening up LifeTracks to others. I do not want LifeTracks to be a single voice and soundtrack. I want this series to showcase and explore many voices and many LifeTracks. The moments in our lives are also best when shared by others. If you would like to contribute to the series, please visit the Connect page and drop me, Bill McNamee, a message. 

Check back soon!!

KerrSplat!! On Flipboard

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flipboard-kerrsplat-800px.png

Today, I am pleased to announce KerrSplat!! launched a magazine on Flipboard. I have been a huge fan of Flipboard since it was first released. It is part of my daily workflow and a place of creative inspiration and ideas.

The KerrSplat!! magazine on Flipboard is not a replacement for the blog. It is a companion to the blog and will feature posts on all things creative. Sourced from Flipboard, other Flipboard magazines, and other web sites, the articles showcased will explore the convergence of the creative process in dissimilar disciplines, as well as the technologies utilized. 

The KerrSplat!! magazine will also be a place to post original content from the KerrSplat!! It is my hope that Flipboard and the KerrSplat!! magazine will help grow the site and its audience and reach.

If you have already have a Flipboard account... Wonderful!! Follow the link below and come visit the new KerrSplat!! magazine. If you do not have a Flipboard account... What are you waiting for? Head over to Flipboard and create an account. It is free and is available from any Internet browser or iOS, Android, and Kindle Fire.

Once there, please follow KerrSpalt!! on Flipboard and let us know how you like our magazine. Comments and feedback are always welcome. 

Enjoy!!
_____